ADHDers Need to Eat All of The Things

Oh man, I try to eat breakfast everyday, I really do. Cause I know that my overactive brain needs freaking nourishment. But fuck is it hard to keep my brain and body satisfied.

I eat three or four eggs every morning – when i’m not deliberately avoiding food, cause, you know, who’s got time for that shit? – and I often find myself hungry an hour later. What is this shit? Do i really need to snack on something every hour or so to keep my body and mind functioning?

Short answer. Yes.

You see, I for one have a very fast metabolism, so maybe that has something to do with it. But I’m super curious if any of my fellow ADHDers struggle with this as well. So, please, answer some questions for me…

Are you hungry all of the time?

Do you avoid eating because it takes too much precious time out of your day?

Do you feel better mentally when you do eat enough throughout the day?

Have any of you heard that high-protein diets are good for our overactive brains?

Anything else you’d like to share with me about ADHD and diet?

I struggle with this. Every. Single. Day. So, it’s obvious to me that i need to look into this more and share with you my findings.

Until then, comment how your ADHD/ADD affects your eating habits, and how we can come up with ways to tackle this problem together. I’m gonna go make a sandwich!

I am sort of struggling, this is harder than i thought…

I am trying to make huge changes in the way i live this year. I am trying to build a routine, and a schedule, and structure in my life. I am trying so hard to develop new habits, and change the way i live that i haven’t yet stopped to ask myself if this is what i really want. That’s the problem, it’s not what i want.

Don’t get me wrong, i want to change for the better as much as the next guy, but i am unwilling to change certain things about myself. As an ADHDer, i am a free spirit by nature, i walk my own path through life, and i rarely follow the lead of others. I am fiercely independent, and an original thinker. I have my quirks that i am not willing to budge on. For example, i am a writer and an artist; and there is no way i can try to add structure to the way i create. Creativity is completely free form, and shouldn’t be messed with. This is where the dilemma arises.

Part of me wants to know whats coming next, what i need to do, and how i need to do it. And the other – more fun – part of me wants to ride by the seat of my pants, and, well, just let life happen. I mean, i have done that so far in life and i think i am doing just fine considering the circumstances.

What i really need to do is think about what’s truly important to me, and what i am not willing to give up. I need to have an internal discussion on what holds priority. Do i really need to be focusing my ever so important energy on my freaking bedtime? No, I don’t think so.

I think it’s better way to live my life, is how i want to live it. Not by anybody’s standards but my own. I need not worry about schedules, and betimes, and the mundane. I need to focus my energies into WHAT REALLY HOLDS MEANING TO ME.

You know what that is? It’s creating art, and writing. It’s caring about the environment, and other people. It’s reading. it’s writing. It’s creating and learning along that way that holds my attention. Which says a lot, because not many things can keep my wandering mind occupied.

Once again i find myself reevaluating my wants, and needs into what actually fits.

Back to the drawing board my friends, enough with the mundane. I need to focus on what matters. And i could give a fuck less when i go to bed, and when i wake up. That’s far too trivial to waste my time worrying about. And it is extremely gratifying to finally understand this.

I will be back my friends, I have some thinking to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In my opinion, Thinking does not lead to happiness or healing

interesting, very interesting…

C PTSD - A Way Out

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Compared to being empty, living in this present moment, thinking is an appendage.
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The greatest cognition, the most complex cognitive thought does not lead to happiness.
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Our Ego, “I” thinks, judges, compares, then files it all away as extremely important fact.
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How erroneous is that cognition! It is totally false!
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Directing our thinking and taking action can lead to great accomplishment, however that does not lead to real happiness.
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Look at how many accomplished men, committed suicide or suffered throughout their lives. Some of our most accomplished people in history, iconic figures were cruel, horrible individuals or suffered enormously.
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That “I” does not exist, never has, never will, no matter how much energy and life we breathe into it.
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Thought, emotion, “Ego, “I”, me, mine are ghosts who grow to enormous heights inside…

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Progress Report – Stage One Reflections

Hello internet! I told you that I’d be back!

I am already halfway through stage two, I know, but I’d like to reflect on my sleeping habits, and why sleep is so damn important.

Stage one of my eight stage plan for ADHDers everywhere focuses on developing a healthy sleep cycle, and doing something relaxing before bed every night, to ensure I sleep soundly, and with a peaceful mind – or at least more at peace than usual.

Well, I hate to say this, but i am doing pretty badly at this habit building thing. Halfway into the next phase and i still go to bed when i feel like it, not when i should. I think i have a solution for my shitting sleeping habits. Since i go to bed so damn late, maybe i need to be taking a short nap everyday to make up for that lost sleep? According to the National Sleep Foundation, short naps during the day (20-30 minutes) can aid in alertness, and concentration; something us ADHDers could really benefit from! So, I will try this out and let you all know how it works for me.

Needless to say, i still have tremendous work to do, and i am prepared for that. This phase is all about getting a solid morning routine in place, and I will also work more on catching some shut eye, and mid-day naps for alertness.

Thanks for reading, talk soon

Cassie

What I Have Learned So Far

Good Afternoon Internet,

Firstly, I would let to let you all know that i am working on this big project of mine, and that i will be publishing my thoughts on the ADHD Women’s Palooza starting on Monday, January 25. Because there are so many webinars happening each day of the Palooza, I do not have the time to write about them all while still having the time to watch everything. So, rest assured, i will be touching upon each subject the experts covered during the ADHD Women’s Palooza, in due time my friends. (ps. you can find a list of the experts, and the topics they will be covering here, you can also still join in on the webinar and watch for free, just sign up right here. :))

Anyways, back to the matter at hand; what i have learned about myself so far in this experiment. I have learned that i really do need to take things slow, even slower than i initially thought. Also, it has occurred to me that maintaining a sleep schedule is extremely hard for my ADHD mind. And finally, i have learned to take it easy on myself.

Mostly, it has become painfully apparent that my plan is not working effectively, at least not yet it isn’t. I think i may have crammed too many things into the plan, and i haven’t broken up each stage enough to be manageable tasks for me to accomplish.

You see, for ADHDers like myself, having small successes are very important for our development and self-esteem. So taking something like a morning  routine and breaking it down helps us not only to manage it, but also strive once we start racking up accomplishments that we can be proud of. Take the morning routine example, we can break that up into getting up on time, making breakfast, brushing teeth, and getting ready for the day. We don’t have to group these things together. Ideally we would tackle one of these things at a time until we have mastered them. It would be wise to start with a wake up time, and keeping at it until it becomes easier and easier. Then, once we have a notch in our belt, and a little confidence, we can apply our energies to the next task, believing in ourselves along the way.

I have been trying to get on a sleep regimen for thirteen days now with no avail. On one hand i want to be mad at myself for not getting this seemingly simple task done. (I mean, anyone can do this. . . Right?) But on the other hand i am thinking that there is probably a reason. ADHDers suffer from insomnia, whether or not we are taking stimulants during the day, we chronically have trouble sleeping. So why would i expect this to be easy in the first place? False expectations, probably the culprit. What i’m saying is, this is naturally going to be doubly hard for me. It’s extra hard because sleep does not come easy to the wandering mind, and it will be even harder than that because i am not good at sticking to a schedule. That is okay with me – that it’s hard – I am not scared of hard. I can handle hardship. I have got this. The most important thing is that i keep pressing on, which brings me to my next point.

I can keep pressing on, and i think that’s because i am learning to give myself a break and have realistic expectations. I just started this wild journey – not really though, i’ve been at it for almost 25 years now – and i need time to adjust and get my footing. No excused either, just compassion for myself, and the willingness to improve and move onward, and upward. I am sticking with this! Even if i change my plan and start from scratch a thousand times! I will do what it takes to manage my life, my way! My ADHD is my friend, i am learning how to live with it more and more everyday, it is slowly becoming less of a clash and more of a brace.

A few words on ADHD and Depression

I fell off the face of the earth for a few days there. Been dealing with some severe depression and i am just trying to keep my damn life together right now. A couple of days ago a wave of anguish washed over me and was all consuming. I was wallowing in my own self-pity, feeling sorry for myself, feeling disgusted, feeling hopeless and all the while fixated on my own shortcomings and why the fuck i have to deal with being so vastly different than everyone else in the first place.

Needless to say, this kind of thinking is no good for us ADHDers. I actually like being different, I like having my own personal spin on life, but why does it have to be so hard to be understood? People are mostly ignorant, that’s why.

Followed by my severe depressive state – this was a bad one too, I hadn’t felt that depressed in quite a while – the anxiety and panic.

My anxious mind tells me terrible things:

You are depressed, now you’ve wasted time being depressed. you need to get this done, you need to get that done, shit, don’t forget about that thing. Oh, and also, this other thing is very imperative, and you must do it! What is wrong with you Cassie? Get it done, you’ve got to do this and that. You have got to be on top of your game because you are different than everyone else, and you need to try harder, so just do it dammit!

It goes on and on in my head, a neverending stream of false expectations of myself and the world around me, a nonstop flood of negativity and putdowns. Coming from someone i should have the most love for – myself.

But i don’t have much love for myself, because my whole life i have been told that i need to be better. Even i think i need to always be better. Which is depressing because i want more than anything else to just be myself.

Depression on any level is not good for overall health, ADHD mind especially though. We can get so caught up on what’s wrong with us – or what others think is wrong with us – and we forget about the awesome qualities we have. Depression chains up the soul and blackens the heart. I know from my experience that i often try to push people away and hurt them when i am depressed – not for their trying to help, but because i am miserable so i want them to be miserable too. Depression also puts a burden of self-hate on our shoulders that we must carry around if we don’t deal with it in a healthy way. Depression clouds our heads and therefore our judgement to make positive an productive decisions in life. Depression is an awful thing that when left untreated can destroy lives and tear people apart.

The really hard part about it is this; ADHD and depression go hand-in-hand more often than not. So, we as ADHDers need to be aware of the risks and actions we can take to live a healthier life overall. We need to be honest with ourselves, and find help wen we need it. I know that i need help, so now i am on a mission to find the right therapist for me. That’s the next step in my treatment, what’s yours?

Thank you for reading, we will talk soon, promise

Cassie

 

 

So I was manicing out. . .

. . . and my loving husband says “you can’t do that,” lovingly of course. But still I think, hahahahahahahahah! Are you fucking kidding me? That is what I do! I am Cassie Nicole Radziewicz. This. Is. What. I. Fucking. Do.

G’night, I am slacking and need to be trying to get some good rest.

Also, pretty picture from walk earlier today:

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