Good Afternoon Internet,
Firstly, I would let to let you all know that i am working on this big project of mine, and that i will be publishing my thoughts on the ADHD Women’s Palooza starting on Monday, January 25. Because there are so many webinars happening each day of the Palooza, I do not have the time to write about them all while still having the time to watch everything. So, rest assured, i will be touching upon each subject the experts covered during the ADHD Women’s Palooza, in due time my friends. (ps. you can find a list of the experts, and the topics they will be covering here, you can also still join in on the webinar and watch for free, just sign up right here. :))
Anyways, back to the matter at hand; what i have learned about myself so far in this experiment. I have learned that i really do need to take things slow, even slower than i initially thought. Also, it has occurred to me that maintaining a sleep schedule is extremely hard for my ADHD mind. And finally, i have learned to take it easy on myself.
Mostly, it has become painfully apparent that my plan is not working effectively, at least not yet it isn’t. I think i may have crammed too many things into the plan, and i haven’t broken up each stage enough to be manageable tasks for me to accomplish.
You see, for ADHDers like myself, having small successes are very important for our development and self-esteem. So taking something like a morning routine and breaking it down helps us not only to manage it, but also strive once we start racking up accomplishments that we can be proud of. Take the morning routine example, we can break that up into getting up on time, making breakfast, brushing teeth, and getting ready for the day. We don’t have to group these things together. Ideally we would tackle one of these things at a time until we have mastered them. It would be wise to start with a wake up time, and keeping at it until it becomes easier and easier. Then, once we have a notch in our belt, and a little confidence, we can apply our energies to the next task, believing in ourselves along the way.
I have been trying to get on a sleep regimen for thirteen days now with no avail. On one hand i want to be mad at myself for not getting this seemingly simple task done. (I mean, anyone can do this. . . Right?) But on the other hand i am thinking that there is probably a reason. ADHDers suffer from insomnia, whether or not we are taking stimulants during the day, we chronically have trouble sleeping. So why would i expect this to be easy in the first place? False expectations, probably the culprit. What i’m saying is, this is naturally going to be doubly hard for me. It’s extra hard because sleep does not come easy to the wandering mind, and it will be even harder than that because i am not good at sticking to a schedule. That is okay with me – that it’s hard – I am not scared of hard. I can handle hardship. I have got this. The most important thing is that i keep pressing on, which brings me to my next point.
I can keep pressing on, and i think that’s because i am learning to give myself a break and have realistic expectations. I just started this wild journey – not really though, i’ve been at it for almost 25 years now – and i need time to adjust and get my footing. No excused either, just compassion for myself, and the willingness to improve and move onward, and upward. I am sticking with this! Even if i change my plan and start from scratch a thousand times! I will do what it takes to manage my life, my way! My ADHD is my friend, i am learning how to live with it more and more everyday, it is slowly becoming less of a clash and more of a brace.