Motherhood, A Note

Draft from 2015, posting because Mother’s Day

Is it just me, or do children fuel our “symptoms?” Our children I should say. Do children of ADHD adults just know how to mess with us, push our buttons, and cause a raging fire within our very souls? Edit: all children do this, it’s part of their developmental process to question everything and push EVERY BOUNDARY. 

Because sometimes, my daughter knows just how to get under my skin. Contrarily, she also knows how to help me through life. without even knowing her power, she has been healing my soul, bit by bit, hug by hug, she heals my inner child, and makes me feel whole.

enough of that gooey gooey stuff, right?! I am completely serious though. Our very spawn are the passageways into our inner child, delivering us, to peace of mind, and childlike wonderment that we have long forgotten.

This sounds kind of crazy I know, but let me explain. As an adult with ADHD – I know a thing or two about what it takes to start the process to freedom from our disordered minds, and into a more functional life.

So, here it goes, this is how my daughter has helped me.

She needs structure, so I need structure, this forces me to get some, because for some reason I have to be doing something for someone else s benefit for me to actually want to do it. Creating a routine – though we are not perfect by any means – has given our family a small foundation to then build on. I know what your thinking, this does not heal the inner child, but it is a part of it and must be noted.

Furthermore, she has taught me to love, unconditionally. She loves me with such power, immense energy, and with great spirit. Through this love she has taught me to love her, and lots of other people, places and things that I didn’t really love before I “put” her on this earth.

She helps me to learn. All children help us to learn, and to relearn what we have once forgotten. Forget about the textbook subjects for a second, I’m talking about a different kind of data bank, I’m talking about compassion, respect – for some things, we have to teach them respect for other things – caring, joy, fun, innocence, creativity innovation, imagination. Our children help us to learn these things all over again, sharing too, and taking turns, and the importance of a mid-day nap.

She teaches me a lot about life, how to live in the moment more, and not to dread on what the future holds.

She doesn’t even know it, but she has saved my soul adulthood damnation.

I love this post from three years ago because it is so damn true. I don’t even mind that it is less than perfect in terms of form and writing flow. This is a brain vomit kind of post that I love to leave just how it is, not worrying about the technical aspect of writing. This is sometimes the best way to put out thoughts out into the world, in the form of a shitty draft. 

Thanks for reading!

 

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